Right Friends
Someone once said that he could tell a person’s destiny by the friends he keeps. I also heard it say this way: “Show me your friends and I will tell you who you are.” Friends are a very important part of our lives. Whether we like to admit it or not, our friends influence us, just as much as we influence them. Paul warns the Corinthian church that bad company corrupts good morals. Choosing wrong friends can have a detrimental effect on our lives, just as having the right friends can greatly benefit our lives. Friendship is a choice, so as you choose well your friends, you will your determine future.
When it comes to choosing the right friends, perhaps it is best to discover what exactly friendship is. Friendship is more than just having “friends” on your Facebook list. Friendship is when a relationship has developed. Because friendships are made, they pass through various stages of development. The first stage is that of an acquaintance. This is the person you run into from time to time, whether at the coffee shop, work place, or in your neighborhood. You may or not know his/her name, but when you meet there is a brief acknowledgment, even if it is just a smile or nod of the head.
The next stage of friendship development is when there begins to be an exchange of trust. This is when time is spent together and information is exchanged of one’s personal life; i.e., where one works, where one lives, hobbies, etc. This can be called the ally or normal friendship stage. Colleagues at work and neighbors tend to have this level of friendship. To pass into the next level of official friendship, each person acknowledges the relationship before others in their friendship and family spheres. Time is spent together and there is a sharing of common interests. The characteristic of an official friend is in their willingness to sacrifice.
The close or best friend stage is reserved for those to whom one is intimate with. This is the person one can share everything with, without the fear of being judged or exposed. It is level of friendship that adds value to one’s life. In this level there is a connection or bonding that has occurred. Here is where one feels at home with the other person. There are no formalities and no need to “break the ice” when together. A close friendship is the same as fellowship. It is the sharing of a common life.
To develop a close friendship with someone, one must begin by sharing a common spiritual life. Man is spirit; he has a soul and lives in a body. If a person is not born again, he has no spiritual life and is in darkness. One cannot fellowship with darkness as a child of God. If you try to, you will only relate on the soul level and the friendship will be carnal. The reason many friendships fail is that they attempt to achieve intimacy in the soul or physical level only. The Bible warns against being “unequally yoked” to unbelievers. This is being bonded in friendship to someone who has no spiritual affinity to you. There is no future in this relationship and will have negative consequences on your own spiritual life. Choose your friends well. Hang out with those you want to be like. Walk in agreement with those you call “friends”.
Scriptures to meditate on:
I Cor. 15.33; II Cor. 6.14; I Thess. 5.21-23; Prov. 23.20; 18.24; Amos 3.3