The Blame Game
Older than games with balls or checkers or even dominoes, is the blame game. The first to play this game was Adam and Eve, while they were still in the Garden of Eden. The game’s objective is to avoid, at all costs, personal responsibility. The rules of the game go like this: When something goes wrong, the players must discover the cause of the problem without any guilt returning on the blamer. Once blame is identified the culprit’s worth is diminished in the eyes of the blamer and it becomes permissible to treat this person as he/she deserves, such as ignoring, name-calling, and in extreme cases physical attack. All this is to be done without any guilt coming back on the blamer.
The problem with this game is that all end up losers. When God confronted Adam about his obvious act of disobedience, he blamed his wife and, in fact, blamed God for having given her to him in the first place, and Eve, in turn, blamed the devil, (now that’s a favorite of so many). The end result being that all three were expelled from the Garden. The Pharisees tried to get Jesus to play this game with them when they brought to Him a woman caught in the act of adultery. It was an easy win. The facts were there. She was to blame. The woman could have said that it was her husband’s fault, because he was gone from home a lot and that she felt rejected by him. She could have blamed her lover saying we deceived her and forced himself on her, but it was Jesus’ turn to play. Calmly, Jesus started to doodle in the sand and then said to all the players: “Let him who is without sin among you be the first to cast the stone.” (John 8.7) The game ended abruptly as they dropped their stones and walked away.
What Jesus was saying is that no one is qualified to play the blame game, because all have sinned. There are no blameless, innocent players. With no one left in the game, Jesus looks at the woman and said that He too would not condemn her, but told her to go back home and sin no more. Robert Anthony said: “When you blame others, you give up your power to change.” By stopping the blame game, Jesus gave this woman a chance to change her life. She was saved from what she deserved by forgiveness and mercy.
Blaming others is a result of our need to explain what caused a given problem. This interest in causality gains momentum according to one’s need for a sense of identity. The more insecure one is the more the tendency to compare oneself with others. The higher one can go on society’s pecking order the more “in control” and important he feels. Being blamed diminishes one’s sense of worth and lowers his position in contrast to others, and so is to be avoided at all cost. When danger looms, one attacks. When a problem occurs, one blames. It is a self-protective mechanism activated by a low self-esteem.
As with Eve, a more spiritually accepted form of blame is the placing of all responsibility for life’s woes on the devil. Even though the devil is a formidable enemy and one needs to be alert to all his devious ways, the emphasis in the Gospels is on the believer’s own personal responsibility in appropriating his assets in Christ. To blame the devil is a cop out from learning the spiritual lessons that adversity brings and growing up into the image and fullness of Christ. By taking personal responsibility, one matures. By blaming others, one stagnates. So don’t play the blame game.
Scriptures to meditate on:
Romans 2.1; Gen. 3.11-13; Mat. 7.1-5; John 8.7