Successful Relationship
Over the years of my ministry I have performed scores of marriages. Each one holds on to the promise of a long life of happiness and love. On the marriage day no one ever thinks of divorce or separation. There is just this wonderful expectation of spending a life together with their lover and best friend. However, as the years progress and as adjustments are confronted, many times this hope is tested and some to the point of failure.
As I have counseled couples over the years, I have found that those who are successful in their covenant of marriage have this in common, in that they have placed God first in their lives. Man has been created in the image of God and God is Spirit. Man as a spiritual being can only experience true unity in his relationships by being “in the Spirit”. I have seen this principle over and again in the Scriptures; “Seek first the Kingdom of God” Even in prayer and worship we see this principle, as Paul writes: “I will pray in the Spirit and with the understanding also, I will sing in the Spirit and with the understanding.” (I Cor. 14.15) The Spirit comes before the understanding.
We are to first know one another after the spirit and not after the flesh; according to the new life we have in Christ. Even before one marries, this pattern needs to be observed. First know the other person after the spirit by praying together, studying the Word together and fellowshipping with others. Then comes the area of the soul: mind, emotions and will. Find out one another’s thoughts, desires, likes and dislikes. When covenant is established then it is sealed by the two coming together in physical intimacy. If this order is reversed, there are bound to be difficulties in developing lasting and healthy relationships.
Paul also exhorts us to keep the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace, (Eph. 4.3). Unity is only achieved by living in the will of the Spirit of God. As the Lord is placed above our relationships and is our focus, the closer we get to the Lord, the closer we become to one another. Unity is not achieved through compromise or treaties. It is given to us by God. He has placed His Spirit in us, which is the link we have with one another. We can keep and live in this unity by being “in the Spirit”. In the Spirit is where we experience successful relationships.
Scriptures to meditate on:
I Thessalonians 5.23; II Corinthians 5.16-17; I Corinthians 14.15: Philippians 3.3; Romans 8.4-5, 26-27, Ephesians 4.3.