To hook up or connect with someone, in today’s vernacular, carries with it, almost exclusively, a sexual connotation. That is sad, because it is a word that is important in understanding how to have a meaningful relationship with God and others. To connect is when there is an intersection resulting in exchange. When you connect a lamp cord to the electricity there is light. John Maxwell wrote a book entitled: Everyone Communicates, Few Connect: What the Most Effective People Do Differently. It is a brilliant study in the building of relationships. Connection goes beyond superficiality to intimacy.
I would like to look at how the world connects, so we can see what not to do. Then, we will compare how Jesus connects with us and how we can in turn connect with Him and discover how to connect with others in a healthy manner. The natural man connects first through physical contact. His eyes look at another person and begins to evaluate the possibility of connection. Usually, judgments are made as to if the person is beautiful, desirable, and interesting. When there is a physical attraction, the body puts out hormonal chemicals that affect the emotions. The person feels a surge of energy and loss of appetite and need for sleep. This “love at first sight”, many times, is deceptive and short-lived.
With these hormonal reactions drawing the two together, the next phase of connection is in the soul. Time is spent together to discover common interests, compatible personalities, and life ambitions. Soul ties are formed as these dots get connected. The next phase of connection is in the area of conscience. Now, the couple compares values and beliefs. For those already motivated by the physical impulses of the flesh, it is easy to make compromises based on the flimsiest of congeniality. One may say: “He doesn’t go to Church, but is willing to go with me.”, Or, “He believes in God, too.” Or, “She believes in praying before her meal, as I do.” These value affirmations are usually interpreted as the “green light” from God to go forward in the relationship.
Many consummate their relationship after these three areas line up, but there are two other important areas that are usually forgotten. The next is that of character. This has to do with faithfulness, patience, kindness, and selflessness. If one demands sexual union to prove one’s love, then the character is not there to maintain a life-long relationship. If one cannot wait, they will not stay. This has to do with the ability to make a covenant. The last and most important point of connection, that the world doesn’t even consider, is that of the Spirit. What does the Lord say about the relationship?
The Lord connects with us first through the Spirit, then develops our character, establishes Godly values, transforms our mind, and heals and restores our physical body. It is in reverse order to how the world connects. God is after permanent relationships, not just “one-night-stands”. He wants us to avoid the heartache of divorce, infidelity and rejection. God wants us to experience real Love and not the plastic, superficial connections that the world is so determined to market. Jesus connected with us by laying down His life, and we can do the same by denying ourselves and taking up the cross to follow Him. Spirit-connection brings us resurrection life; a relationship that continues throughout all eternity. By connecting with God, all other relationships take on a new meaning and depth because they are covenant based.
Scriptures to meditate on:
Hebrews 7:25; Tito 3:5; Ephesians 5:25-33; 1 John 3:16; 1 Corinthians 13